Editors note: I am sure most folks are weary of the CMI story; I know I am. However, I simply cannot allow it to be swept under the rug while CMI principals walk C Street as if they are somehow without reproach. Many folks consider them hucksters of the highest order and see the racket they have constructed an example of a time long ago when snake oilers roamed the Comstock looking for easy cash to separate from suckers in exchange for mining stock…
Like Yogi said, “It’s Deja Vu all over again!”
So I was going to rewrite this press release as a satire piece and link to the actual press release here and here, It is a work of art; a press release of about a thousand words that doesn’t say a single thing. I can’t make up any more insane on the membrane satire than it is on it’s own, so I’ll provide running satire-facts-commentary (in red) to highlight the lowlights. Calibrate your sarcasm-o-meter and follow the bouncing red text!
VIRGINIA CITY, Nev., June 26, 2017 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) — Comstock Mining Inc. (the “Company”) (NYSE MKT:LODE) today announced it made its regularly scheduled interest payment to GF Comstock 2 LP under its Debenture one week early. The interest payment is due on July 1, 2017, but was paid on June 23, 2017.
Seriously? A press release to say that they made their credit card payment a week early? Really? Alert The MEDIA! WE MADE A PAYMENT ON TIME! (in fairness, considering they lost 15 million dollars in the last 5 quarters, making a payment on time IS news!)
Corrado De Gasperis, Executive Chairman and CEO (and CFO – Chief Flimflam Officer) of the Company said, “We completed this strategic refinancing earlier this year so that we could extend maturities, strengthen and simplify our balance sheet and provide improved liquidity, facilitating us to monetize our non-mining properties optimally and payoff the debt. Our costs have never been lower and our liquidity remains excellent.”
What this means: We got a new credit card and are using it to pay off some of our old credit cards. When was the last time any of us ever used this type of mumbo-speak? Say it in English, dude.
The Company plans to pay off the Debenture (I had to look it up: an unsecured loan certificate issued by a company, backed by general credit(!) rather than by specified assets) from the monetization (or you could just say “sale”) of its non-mining properties (land) positioned (positioned? really?) on Highway 50, in conjunction with the completion of Nevada’s new State Route 439 (aka, USA Parkway), connecting Interstate 80 right through the Tahoe Reno Industrial Center to its roundabout intersection with U.S. 50, in almost immediate proximity (near) to the Company’s industrial site property.
What this means: We’re a TRICster wanna-be and we are gonna make our credit card payments by selling the land we swindled our investors out of.
During an update to Storey County Commissioners on Tuesday, June 20, 2017, the Nevada Department of Transportation’s (NDOT) deputy director, Bill Hoffman reported that the USA Parkway is scheduled for completion this September, three months ahead of the original schedule. Mr. Hoffman also acknowledged Comstock Mining for its successful completion of the re-alignment of State Route 342 and the recent release of its remaining $65,000 surety bond by Storey County.
Aaaaaand… what does this have to do with anything?
Mr. De Gasperis added, “We are looking forward to NDOT’s ribbon cutting later this year as the new USA Parkway connects with U.S. 50 and creates additional economic opportunities and access for our communities. U.S. 50 also connects with the SR 342 realignment that represented an extraordinary public-private cooperation between us and the local, State and Federal governments, who, all together, made this unprecedented, regionally impacting achievement possible.”
All right Mr. De Gasperis, this BS really frosts my cupcakes… USA Parkway connects 80 to 50. 50 connects to 342. Duh. But hold on just one freaking second… the 342 realignment represents an extraordinary public-private cooperation between CMI and the governmental universe?
Is this the same realignment that was caused because CMI lusted after the crumbs of silver under 342 causing it to collapse? The realignment that caused the ENTIRE community to endure months of driving an extra 30 minutes to get to and from Carson because of CMI’s reckless greed? Collapsing the highway was an “unprecedented, regionally impacting achievement”? What the actual heck? In-freaking-credible. Large stones you have, sir.
The Company is also in the final stages of finalizing two joint ventures that will enhance liquidity, accelerate mining activities and enhance and validate the value of our mineral resources and properties. We expect to announce these ventures as soon as they are completed, and certainly during the second quarter reporting process, if not sooner.
This paragraph is pure fantasy. All the rock from the Lucerne Pit is piled up at the site of their future high density luxury housing development in American Flats. If there was a dime of silver or gold in that pile, they would be pouring it. The “value of our mineral resources” last quarter was less than Pat Whitten makes in a year; a fortune for one person but fork-nothing for a company with as many investors at CMI has fleeced. There is no gold or silver in them thar holdings, anywhere.
About Comstock Mining Inc.
Comstock Mining Inc. is a Nevada-based, gold and silver mining company with extensive, contiguous property in the Comstock District and is an emerging leader in sustainable, responsible mining. The Company began acquiring properties in the Comstock District in 2003. Since then, the Company has consolidated a significant portion of the Comstock District, amassed the single largest known repository of historical and current geological data on the Comstock region, secured permits, built an infrastructure and completed its first phase of production. The Company continues evaluating and acquiring properties inside and outside the district expanding its footprint and exploring all of our existing and prospective opportunities for further exploration, development and mining. The near term goal of our business plan is to maximize intrinsic stockholder value realized, per share, by continuing to acquire mineralized and potentially mineralized properties, exploring, developing and validating qualified resources and reserves (proven and probable) that enable the commercial development of our operations through extended, long-lived mine plans that are economically feasible and socially responsible.
If you can read the above paragraph and not vomit, you are not an actual human.
This press release and any related calls or discussions may include forward-looking statements within the meaning of the Private Securities Litigation Reform Act of 1995 about Comstock. Forward-looking statements are statements that are not historical facts. All statements, other than statements of historical facts, are forward-looking statements. Forward-looking statements include statements about matters such as: future prices and sales of, and demand for, our products; future industry market conditions; future changes in our exploration activities, production capacity and operations; future exploration, production, operating and overhead costs; operational and management restructuring activities (including implementation of methodologies and changes in the board of directors); future employment and contributions of personnel; tax and interest rates; capital expenditures and their impact on us; nature and timing and accounting for restructuring charges, gains or losses on debt extinguishment, derivative liabilities and the impact thereof; productivity, production slowdowns, suspension or termination, business process, rationalization and other operational initiatives; investments, acquisitions, joint ventures, strategic alliances, business combinations, asset sales; consulting, operational, tax, financial and capital projects and initiatives; contingencies; environmental compliance and changes in the regulatory environment; offerings, sales and other actions regarding debt or equity securities; including a redemption of the debenture, and future working capital, costs, revenues, business opportunities, debt levels, cash flows, margins, earnings and growth and redemption of the Debenture.
Forward looking statement: Hold onto your money and run like the devil himself were at your heels.
The words “believe,” “expect,” “anticipate,” “estimate,” “project,” “plan,” “should,” “intend,” “may,” “will,” “would,” “potential” and similar expressions identify forward-looking statements, but are not the exclusive means of doing so. These statements are based on assumptions and assessments made by our management in light of their experience and their perception of historical and current trends, current conditions, possible future developments and other factors they believe to be appropriate. Forward-looking statements are not guarantees, representations or warranties and are subject to risks and uncertainties that could cause actual results, developments and business decisions to differ materially from those contemplated by such forward-looking statements. Some of those risks and uncertainties include the risk factors discussed in Item 1A, “Risk Factors” of our annual report on Form 10-K. Occurrence of such events or circumstances could have a material adverse effect on our business, financial condition, results of operations or cash flows or the market price of our securities. All subsequent written and oral forward-looking statements by or attributable to us or persons acting on our behalf are expressly qualified in their entirety by these factors. We undertake no obligation to publicly update or revise any forward-looking statement.
Neither this press release nor any related calls or discussions constitutes an offer to sell or the solicitation of an offer to buy the Debenture or any other securities of the Company. Nor do they say or mean anything tangible or credible. Pure smoke. From a bong.
Contact information for Comstock Mining Inc.: PO Box 1118 Virginia City, NV 89440 http://www.comstockmining.com Corrado De Gasperis President, CEO & CFO Tel (775) 847-4755 firstname.lastname@example.org Zach Spencer Director of External Relations Tel (775) 847-5272 ext. 151 email@example.com Elaine Spencer-Barksdull & Karen Woodmanse Maidens of Propaganda Comstock Chronicle and Virginia City News firstname.lastname@example.org